You’re not ready to japa if you still do these 5 things

The japa trend has come to stay, and we’re not holding back. Everyone wants to japa, and that’s why you may be at a wedding with someone this Saturday shouting “we’re outside” together, only to hear on Monday that they’ve flown out.

You’re probably also considering a move.

While the dream of greener pastures is valid (and very attractive), the truth is, not everyone is truly ready to relocate. But before you pack your Ghana-must-go and announce your departure from the country, check yourself first. Because if you still do these five things, you’re definitely not ready to japa.

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If your life depends on that hot smoky jollof from the roadside woman who calls you “my customer”, or you can’t function without amala from that canteen under the bridge – think twice.

In many japa destinations, you’ll need to learn to cook, or adjust to bread that tastes like foam and chicken that’s so dry. If you still depend on daily “Iya Basira” survival kits, you might need a little more home training before you book that flight.

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Suppose your relocation plan is built entirely on that uncle in Manchester or that cousin in Texas who promised to “help you settle,” sorry, o! In reality, people abroad are busy paying bills, working three jobs, and surviving winter, which can humble even the strongest Lagosian.

If you still depend on family connections alone, you’re not ready. You need a solid plan, not vibes and WhatsApp forwards.

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If you grumble about walking from Lekki Phase 1 gate to your friend’s house, please stay where you are.

In many countries, you’ll walk so much your legs will start looking like Usain Bolt’s. Missed the bus? Start trekking. Grocery store? Trekking. Forgot something at home? Trek again. Your relationship with walking must be solid before you pack your bags.

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Abroad, life can be quiet, too quiet sometimes. If your day depends on greeting Mama Nkechi downstairs, arguing with your compound neighbour about who took your bucket, or listening to street gossip, you’re not ready.

When you japa, you’ll find out neighbors might not even greet you back. Everybody minds their business. If loneliness makes you start talking to plants, better reconsider.

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A lot of people believe the moment you land at Heathrow or Toronto Pearson, money will start falling from the sky and you’ll start posting “Soft life only” on Instagram.

Reality? You’ll work hard, pay bills that will make you question your entire life, and still send money home to Auntie Bisi. If you still think japa equals instant luxury, you need to go back and watch more YouTube vlogs from immigrants.